Archive for March, 2010
The BGE Problem

Recently I received my energy bill and, as I typically do, turned straight to the balance due section. The total balance due this month was $0.00.

I scratched my head for a minute, double-checked and then triple-checked. Still $0.00.

At this point I decided to give my light bill more than the usual twenty seconds of consideration and read the whole thing. Under the heading, “Important Information About Your Bill,” read the following:

“The CE bill credit of $100 per residential distribution customer account is a condition of the Maryland Public Service Comission’s approval of the transaction between Constellation Energy and EDF Group.”

This means, ostensibly, that my next two bills are paid because of a major corporate buyout. Being a relatively new resident here in Baltimore, I had no idea that I would be on the receiving end of such a credit. The only question remains: what should I do? For a moment, I considered sending a thank you note and a $100 check to BGE, but that moment was short-lived.

As decidedly non-liberal as it is of me to say, maybe this isn’t a bad thing, environmental issues aside. I’m the first person to say that monopolies are bad. I said a million times that the end result of the recession would be mass consolidation of banking power into even fewer institutions than had it in the first place. That is most certainly bad. When it comes to energy, however, I’m a little more tolerant.

A cautionary tale: natural gas used to be the cheapest commodity you could have in Georgia. Millions of residents went out of their way to heat their homes, dry their clothes, and cook their food with gas, not just because it’s better, but because it’s cheaper. Then somebody got wise to the fact that Atlanta Gas Light had a monopoly on natural gas in Georgia, so deregulation legislation was passed which would allow consumers to have a choice in who they chose as their natural gas provider. Unfortunately, no matter who you picked as your gas provider, they were getting the gas to your house through Atlanta Gas Light pipes. What was once an $11 a month bill became a $92 a month bill, since all of the new companies had to rely on AGL’s existing infrastructure.

Monopolies aside, I pay less for gas and electricity every month than I do for my cellular phone, less than I would for cable if I had it, and certainly less than most people my age pay for a credit card bill. Constellation wants to keep its customers, so I doubt prices are going up anytime soon. The nightmare future where the evil energy empire jacks up the prices for the consumer to the point that you have to decide whether your child freezes or starves to death this month could one day happen, but I’m willing to put my faith into our future selves that we won’t let that happen. For once, let’s just let this one slide.

Dekker’s on Kindle

Parasite: Six Tales of Speculative Horror

Everyone’s favorite pop-culture saucier, and my occasional business partner, Dekker Dreyer, has just published a book of short fiction to Kindle and iPhone. Check it out if you’ve got an extra $1.29 lying around.

Tweets from 3/2/2010
Did Seth MacFarlane pull a Zach Johnson?

I’ve been catching up on the new season of “Real Time with Bill Maher,” which is my favorite show when it comes to liberal commentary. During the season premiere, Bill was talking about the way that the Senate can now filibuster without standing and reading the phone book for 8 hours without going to the bathroom or drinking water and referenced the “Star Trek” episode where the society just fed people into an incinerator rather than having wars. He then turned to Seth and prompted him to give the Kirk speech from said episode.

You can see that scene here alongside the original “Star Trek” clip.

I knew a guy in college named Zach Johnson. Zach was a guitar major with an affinity for Tennessee whiskey which would sometimes cause him to morph into a personality we affectionately referred to as “Zach Daniels.” Zach also possessed a photographic memory and an incredible knack for mimicry. For instance, you could name any episode of “The Simpsons” and Zach would reproduce the dialogue from that scene complete with all the necessary voices. His Homer impression was particularly perfect. Zach was also a big-time Trekker, which means that, hypothetically, I could have sat with Zach in the commons, given him the same lead that Maher gave MacFarlane, and the scene would have been exactly the same, except for the fact that Zach’s Shatner would be less mockery and more mimicry.

This moment reveals another facet to an already fascinating human being. MacFarlane is a brilliant voice actor, comedian, writer, animator, singer and producer. Is it possible that he also possesses a perfect memory? Can he do this with any movie or TV show that he’s ever seen? My guess is yes, so that can only mean that I now must hate Seth MacFarlane.

Shameless Plug

Shaun and I have been friends since the period of limbo in my life between working for my dad and starting Illusion where I managed an Italian restaurant in Midtown Atlanta. When I left Pasta Da Pulcinella, he stepped up to the manager role, but he’s kept his artistic cred as a part time musician, film editor, and now blogger. For a little background you should know that about a year ago Shaun bought a house in West Atlanta near Six Flags over Georgia where a lot of the neighborhoods can be considered optimistically “up-and-coming.” The West Atlanta Registry and Report is a chronicle of Shaun’s experiences interacting with his neighbors. Anyway, the less time you spend reading this post, the better. Check out Shaun’s blog through the picture above.