Recently I received my energy bill and, as I typically do, turned straight to the balance due section. The total balance due this month was $0.00.

I scratched my head for a minute, double-checked and then triple-checked. Still $0.00.

At this point I decided to give my light bill more than the usual twenty seconds of consideration and read the whole thing. Under the heading, “Important Information About Your Bill,” read the following:

“The CE bill credit of $100 per residential distribution customer account is a condition of the Maryland Public Service Comission’s approval of the transaction between Constellation Energy and EDF Group.”

This means, ostensibly, that my next two bills are paid because of a major corporate buyout. Being a relatively new resident here in Baltimore, I had no idea that I would be on the receiving end of such a credit. The only question remains: what should I do? For a moment, I considered sending a thank you note and a $100 check to BGE, but that moment was short-lived.

As decidedly non-liberal as it is of me to say, maybe this isn’t a bad thing, environmental issues aside. I’m the first person to say that monopolies are bad. I said a million times that the end result of the recession would be mass consolidation of banking power into even fewer institutions than had it in the first place. That is most certainly bad. When it comes to energy, however, I’m a little more tolerant.

A cautionary tale: natural gas used to be the cheapest commodity you could have in Georgia. Millions of residents went out of their way to heat their homes, dry their clothes, and cook their food with gas, not just because it’s better, but because it’s cheaper. Then somebody got wise to the fact that Atlanta Gas Light had a monopoly on natural gas in Georgia, so deregulation legislation was passed which would allow consumers to have a choice in who they chose as their natural gas provider. Unfortunately, no matter who you picked as your gas provider, they were getting the gas to your house through Atlanta Gas Light pipes. What was once an $11 a month bill became a $92 a month bill, since all of the new companies had to rely on AGL’s existing infrastructure.

Monopolies aside, I pay less for gas and electricity every month than I do for my cellular phone, less than I would for cable if I had it, and certainly less than most people my age pay for a credit card bill. Constellation wants to keep its customers, so I doubt prices are going up anytime soon. The nightmare future where the evil energy empire jacks up the prices for the consumer to the point that you have to decide whether your child freezes or starves to death this month could one day happen, but I’m willing to put my faith into our future selves that we won’t let that happen. For once, let’s just let this one slide.

I’ve been catching up on the new season of “Real Time with Bill Maher,” which is my favorite show when it comes to liberal commentary. During the season premiere, Bill was talking about the way that the Senate can now filibuster without standing and reading the phone book for 8 hours without going to the bathroom or drinking water and referenced the “Star Trek” episode where the society just fed people into an incinerator rather than having wars. He then turned to Seth and prompted him to give the Kirk speech from said episode.

You can see that scene here alongside the original “Star Trek” clip.

I knew a guy in college named Zach Johnson. Zach was a guitar major with an affinity for Tennessee whiskey which would sometimes cause him to morph into a personality we affectionately referred to as “Zach Daniels.” Zach also possessed a photographic memory and an incredible knack for mimicry. For instance, you could name any episode of “The Simpsons” and Zach would reproduce the dialogue from that scene complete with all the necessary voices. His Homer impression was particularly perfect. Zach was also a big-time Trekker, which means that, hypothetically, I could have sat with Zach in the commons, given him the same lead that Maher gave MacFarlane, and the scene would have been exactly the same, except for the fact that Zach’s Shatner would be less mockery and more mimicry.

This moment reveals another facet to an already fascinating human being. MacFarlane is a brilliant voice actor, comedian, writer, animator, singer and producer. Is it possible that he also possesses a perfect memory? Can he do this with any movie or TV show that he’s ever seen? My guess is yes, so that can only mean that I now must hate Seth MacFarlane.

Yes, back from hiatus is your old friend, The Jamison. Things have changed significantly since we last spoke. I returned from Egypt, spent a little time in the ATL, then moved to Baltimore and secured employment. Maggie is settling into her graduate program nicely. So far I’m digging the town. We live in Charles Village, so we’re stocking up on samurai swords.

Anyway, with my return to a more conventional life, I intend to become less of a fixture in my own posts. Certainly you will still be seeing the world through the eyes of the Jamison, but I imagine fewer of the stories will feature me as the key player and will instead become more about commentary and opinion. Items marked “Travelogue” will probably be about less exotic destinations than Cairo, but I’ll see what I can do to keep my adventures interesting. Things are in a state of transition, and I can’t be certain what the future holds.

Lastly, to all of those bitching because they can’t add me on Google Reader. I’m working on it. More to come.

Matt Fraction posted this without comment (more or less) on Twitter earlier today and I can’t help but say my piece.

There’s a whole host of things wrong with this video and song, but I’m going to stick to the one basic question that keeps running through my head: If you look at every girl as somebody’s daughter, and that negates your carnal desires, then how do you have a healthy relationship with your wife?

My other gripe is that it just makes me want to watch Fast Times at Ridgemont High, specifically the scene that features a similar, but much better tune, by Jackson Browne.

Surf Nazis, dude.

As you may know from reading previous posts, I’ve been rereading Chris Claremont’s epic run on X-Men (which became Uncanny X-Men and spawned the entire of X-family titles we now know and love… or hate), so it’s been a fine time for Claremont’s X-Men Forever to premiere. For the uninitiated, X-Men Forever is Claremont’s attempt to write an X-Men comic which disregards current continuity and picks up where he left off. X-Men Forever #1 is, in effect, (adjective-less) X-Men #4.

Many people are justifiably skeptical of this title. For one thing, Claremont’s return to Marvel 10 years ago met with only moderate success. A lot of fans respond to his work as being a bit too wordy for modern comics, and, let’s face it, his vision of the X-Men harkins back to the dawn of 90’s comics, a period now regarded as the industry’s worst hour.

I’m going to take the ride on this one, though, if for no better reason than the fact that I just like Chris Claremont. Ignoring the fact that The X-Men was one of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s least successful titles, which Claremont turned into the company’s flagship franchise, I’ve always found Claremont to be a genuinely friendly individual. I was 17 when I saw him in the gift shop of the Hyatt at Dragon Con, back when he was writing a respectable run on Fantastic Four. I approached him (which took a lot of effort at the time) and said, “I really like what you’re doing on the Fantastic Four.”

He said, “Thanks. Are you coming to the panel?”

“What panel,” I asked.

“It’s going on downstairs in about 10 minutes. You should drop by.”

Of course I did and really enjoyed his discussions of how he saw the Fantastic Four. Keep in mind this was around the time he introduced the character of Valeria Von Doom. During the Q & A, I asked him if he had foreseen during his run on X-Men that all of the X-prophesies, the alternate time lines and such, which were obviously giving editorial a headache at the time would cause so many problems. At first he just said, “What problems?” Which was met by sparse laughter. Then after a moment of reflection he said, “I didn’t really think they would cause any problems because I never thought I would stop writing the book.” The room exploded with applause.

Anyway, I found an interview which Claremont gave to Wizard Magazine right around the time X-Men #1 with it’s Jim Lee pencils and five variant covers was coming out. He has a clear vision of where the comic should go, and you can tell from the interview that he’s optimistic about the future of the franchise, however he quit before the interview saw print.

What can I say? I love the X-men and can’t wait to see what happens with this title. I think us X-fans owe Claremont at least a first-issue courtesy read.

Take a look at the New York Times article I linked to the picture above and tell me that society hasn’t gotten a bit too panicky for your tastes. Big news of the conversion of television signals from analog to digital has been around for well over two years now. During its last year, the Bush administration broke off a sizable chunk of change (sizable for you and me, not compared to the rest of the federal budget) so you could get a $40 coupon from the government to buy a little box which would convert signals for your TV if it was unprepared to receive a digital signal. The Obama administration pushed back the change for fear that too many people were unprepared for the switch, but the deal finally went down yesterday.

Here’s the problem: if you bought your TV in the last 10-15 years, it’s ready to receive a digital signal. Nielsen claims 2.8 million homes were completely unprepared for this change and another 9.5 million were only partly ready. I don’t know if there’s one American left outside of the advertising industry who actually believes Nielsen’s ratings anymore, but these 11 million Americans (.33% of the population) have to live like that Australian family on the Simpsons episode where Bart calls Australia to find out if the water goes counter-clockwise when they flush the toilet, and they must look like that family from The Hills Have Eyes.

More thought and planning went into preparing for the digital conversion than FEMA has ever put into hurricane relief, and this is only television. Most importantly, this is making sure that people who haven’t bought a TV in the last 15 years and don’t have cable keep watching television. Have we considered that maybe these people aren’t worth the effort? How much money do you think people who are tuning in Idol every week on a pair of rabbit ears contribute to the economy?

Meanwhile, all that panic which the affiliates worked overtime to curb? The busiest outlets got about 600 calls. For once, we can say a lot of time and money was wasted counting on the ignorance of the American people, because when it comes to watching our stories, we don’t mess around.

PS - To my girlfriend’s parents: Even though you haven’t bought a television in the last 10 years and don’t get cable, I still heart you.

I came across the above-linked article about Thomas Paine while reading BBC News. Apparently there’s a big to-do in the UK about putting up a statue of the man who is short-changed by rarely being mentioned as a founding father of both the American and French Revolutions. The lack of a statue is hardly surprising. Putting up a statue of Paine in London would be like waiting another 150 years and then putting up a statue of Che Guevara in Washington DC.

Regardless, I first came across Thomas Paine when I was assigned to read “Common Sense” for homework in my 10th grade American literature class. While the gravity of the phrase, “All religion is hearsay,” didn’t quite sink in right way, the rhetoric of the revolution was a lot more interesting than the sermons of Puritan settlers. Ultimately the writings of Thomas Paine have become a huge influence on my political and religious opinions, and I highly recommend them. There’s any number of published books of the man’s writing, but I think he’d be proud to know they’re available for free as part of the public domain.

I’m not the kind of guy who sits around wondering which super hero would beat which in a fight (because Batman beats everyone, period), but I caught myself today wondering how the frequent and famous clashes between The Fantastic Four’s Thing and The Incredible Hulk turned out. Fortunately www.leaderslair.com has a fantastic section entitled “Hulk Smashes!!!” I first discovered this site when wondering whether the Hulk had ever tangled with the Blob (thrice, and Blob lost every time). Today, however, I was watching the Thing take on an army of robot Hulks in Dan Slott’s run on the short-lived second attempt at giving the hero his own title, “The Thing.” For the record, “Hulk Smashes” tells me that out of 32 clashes between Aunt Petunia’s blue-eyed Benjamin J. Grimm and the not-so-Jolly Green Giant, Hulk has had 5 decisive victories while Thing has had only one. Too bad Thing doesn’t have that exponential strength to go along with his mood swings.

Maggie sent me this New York Times piece on Dan Aykroyd which I think is worth passing around. Apparently Aykroyd’s real-life fascination with the paranormal partly inspired him to write Ghostbusters. He also talks about the video game which is currently in production as well as the third film in the series, which may or may not happen. My only beef is that he puts down Ghostbusters II, calling it “not a fair, not a very good, but a good companion to the first movie.”

Grammatical issues aside, I’ve always enjoyed Ghostbusters II, possibly even more than Ghostbusters, depending on my mood, and yet everyone’s always lining up to talk about how much it sucked.

I’ll be the first to admit that the last shot in the movie with the Ghostbusters incorporated into a Renaissance painting is an epic fail, and of course the presence of a cute baby always indicates that a shark is about to be jumped but they managed to keep the spirit (no pun intended) of the first film intact. In true Ghostbusters fashion, we find out that the city sued them out of business after the end of the first movie, we learn that Pete and Dana broke up, and Ray and Winston have been running around doing birthday parties as Ghostbusters. They get back in the game just in time to realize that another psychomagnotheric event is coming together and that a painting of a Moldavian tyrant is responsible. Yes, there’s plenty of reason to bash the mismatched soundtrack and some of the cuter scenes, but in the end, the Ghostbusters II makes an excellent sequel.

One last thought before I sign off here: Ghostbusters II had the best opening weekend of any movie ever released, right up until Batman came out the very next weekend. Seriously, this movie doesn’t get enough credit.

A fictional dialogue in a Hollywood casting office circa 2007:

Casting Wizard #1: Alright, folks, the notes here say that Tony Stark, the alternate identity of Iron Man, is an alcoholic weapons engineer. I’d go with Johnny Depp for the druggie hero routine, but I think it’s overplayed.

Casting Wizard #2: Agreed, we’re going to need another talented actor with a personal history of substance abuse who can really sell the “bright but tortured” routine.

Casting Wizard #3: How about Tom Cruise?

Casting Wizards #1 and #2 defenestrate Casting Wizard #3.

Casting Wizard #2: I’ve got it! Robert Downey Jr!

Casting Wizard #1: Is he clean now?

Casting Wizard #2: Yeah, and working like a horse. Did you see “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang?”

Casting Wizard #1: You know I don’t watch movies.

Casting Wizard #2: It’s not important. He’s perfect, and if Iron Man does well enough, I’ve got the ideal follow-up for him.

Keep in mind I’m not complaining.